OOC

So this is the end of my journey in OCS i guess... I went for the performance review board...had an interview with Colonel Ong...well much as i thought...or expected...it wasnt an interview... It was more like an interrogation. Its ever since i misfired..the amount of shit i have been dealing with from the instructors was hell. This is a vicious place whereby they dont give a chance for the mistakes u made. Its like one misfire and u are condemned. Well i thought to myself fine...if thats the way, then i should just take it. Actually, i feel happy to leave this place...but sad that i let my parents down... i wanted them to see me getting commissioned on the parade square.. Guess it wont happen.

Plus...all my friends whom had faith in me..i've let them down. Its a shame lah...but hopefully i gain something from this and i hope i made the right decision. Besides...the school instructor is really a turn off...cant stand his fucking attitude. My PC, CPT Jason hasnt been a great help too. Hes damm sacarstic when we ask him for help...plus my instructors...Sigh...anyways...a new beginning. i still have 1 and a half years more to clear. So i hope i can just breeze by these. Now my only worry is about my application to the university...hows it gonna affect my chances.

Feel kinda sian that i am leaving this place...but i dont know...its been...somewhat fun lah. Hopefully i get to go home soon...Now i'm able to do something more useful instead of chiong-suaing up a stupid hill or something.

Double kill

One of the harsher days in Charlie wing...yesterday was our Ex Skylark and Ex Nightbird. navigation exercise in day and night....using the air photo...but however...the wing practically used the map to navigate...i have to admit. Some of us were spotted by CPT Iskandar and we got Fucked big time. As for me...i got fucked by CPT Jason again for putting a cigrette in my mouth. Cant take it anymore...i was walking with a stick in my mouth and i got fucked for that...i mean wtf man....and fucked by APC LTA Zaoxiang for not securing my map...when a billion other people didnt. I mean whats the point? if i didnt lose the map at the end of the day...it shows that i am responsible enough isnt it? He says what...its an attitude and integrity problem... i dont get a single word.

CPT Iskandar fucked the whole wing nicely by giving us pumping and making us touch a tree and stuff like that within time limits because we didnt show a sense of urgency. Some cadets also used a stick to walk thru the jungle which i dont see a problem with...i dont know why are they so particular with this...Its just a fucking stick for fuck's sake.

Some cadets got scolded in front of CPT Jason by Hotel Wing 2IC and he got really mad. That night when we went back...another nice round of pumping. first was 5mins FBO fall in...den it was pumping in FBO den it was everything in and out within 1min or smth...den change to PT kit...den more pumping etc. Shacked out...i slept like a log man.

2 CPTs giving 2 different punishment...really a double kill. Its a fucking irony because i dont see them practicing what they preach. Like take for example...Handling tools etc...i dont see them using proper equipment...yet they tell us to go by the books.

And it seems like i am getting picked on now... i seriously dont know how long can i last in this shithole. Treated like a fucking dog everyday. Every Fucking Day.

CNY Dinner @ OCS and CNY after Patrol Field camp.

So wing comm decided to charge me after CNY...Thank God he let me enjoy the 4days out. I was so happy...I made full use of my time. I utilized every second. That includes doing the AOP Homework. Urgh...CNY dinner at OCS was pretty cool. We had steamboat and everyone was happy... My wing comm is such a nice person and i really look up to him. That night...i went to Hacienda for drinks and chilled with the group. Dill and Jeremy started a company called PlanetFootball...haha.. So it was fun.

Next day was reunion dinner..i went to town early to get myself a pair of shoes with Youchao and Aloner. Another Nike SB Zoom Tre! woohoo! I bought it with Youchao so we could get a discount together. Admond was there but he left us...So we were chilling outside macs and i saw Ching with his gf...talked abit and we all headed home after.

Reunion dinner was on that night. Good food and it gets better as the years go by. Guess when we grow older...we get to appreciate food more. I miss home cooked food now... Did some catching up with my cousins and all. Evelyn's doing pretty well...heard shes making good money.

After that was a catchup with Abiram...Both of us only. Hes leaving for aust to study Medicine on friday. Dang...i am gonna miss him...6 long years...sigh. We went to liquid kitchen at gardens and had a good talk bout the good old days in sec school and stuff like that.

Next day was CNY Day 1! i went to Grandma's house...get ang pows! haha...after which we went to grandaunt's house...more ang pows! Went home after that...MORE ANGPOWS! Dad's side came over to visit grandma...

In the evening...we went over to Kenneth's house at pasir ris...Me, Bryan, Barry and Shann...we went to W.network first to collect Bryan's pay...had a drink there...went to Ken's house...had another fabolous home cooked dinner by his mom. After that...was 10.45pm where me and Bryan headed to Muddy Murpheys to meet Marcus and Sara whos leaving the next day to aust to have a couple of beers and then to Fashion Bar. Spent a couple of hundreds on drinks that day. Had a real good time haha...

Next day was day 2...went to Aunty sally's house with all the W.network guys to have a wonderful lunch! i miss her curry man...>.< in the evening was at Youchao's house...loads of chicks there...At night was spent at Bryan's house catching a couple of DVDs...mainly simpsons...haha

Now its

OCS Platoon Field Camp. Ex - Zebra & Ex - Spade

Platoon field camp came..this time its attack and defence. I was made section commander again...i dont know why i always tio those fucked up appointments. Okay lah i mean its good to learn. I wanna learn more...but why do i always get fucked when they give me those appointments? some of the guys dont even know shit but they think i am the only one. Jian Ming this guy said he didnt know if he could smoke thru platoon field camp..i was thinking to myself wtf? This guy dosent know shit..but he dosent get marked...blur most of the time and he gets away with it. WTF?

And LTA Terrance likes fucking me i dont know why...i did my drills correctly wad...only except on one danger area where i deployed wrongly cuz PC gave me the wrong direction. and its my fault?

Really sian lah... His words are really demoralizing cuz he makes u feel like u are the lowest shitbag in the world. He can go be a critic judging Singapore Idol or smth.

And for Ex - Spade, i was made Platoon Sergeant being in charge of the stores. Den CPT Jason immediately said the Platoon Commander was down and I had to take over this time. Den i was snooked cuz i suddenly had to take over. And everyone else was down except 3men. WTF Shd i do? i mean how does he want me to re-org my men when i have so little?

Dont know lah...den another time i got fucked was when Nelson Fong lost the bloody igniter for the tripflare...and cuz i was PS, i get fucked again. i mean i issued him the trip flare and i told him specifcally not to lose anything...and he has to go lose smth...

Also, the platoon lost 1 dummy claymore and 3HDEP rounds...and I get fucked again. I told the platoon to do an equipment check before they left the area and no one sounded out they lost anything. So when we came back..and we found out we lost smth...CPT Jason seemed to be putting the blame on me. I really dont get their point man...Does that mean if one of us lose smth...The instructors get fucked as well? cuz they didnt ensure?

Usually we just do a personal equipment check when the PS gives out an instruction...and i did that...but still i get fucked. Luckily they found everything back. Thank God...

Also during Spade...This fucker Jeremy was smoking thru all the way. He didnt help dig shit. Cuz the platoon HQ consists of PC,PS,Runner and Medic. So usually PC has to run about and i give in to that. PS, runner and medic digs the command post. That fucker only dig his shellscrape and claimed he was sick after that. Fucked up. Left me and Matt to dig...and its not easy i tell u.

Both of us were really shacked out while he was sitting there...i told him to report to the medic but that fucker said, " Dont want lah...i report already will recover." I was thinking...since u say u will recover...why not report and then help us out...fucked up right? He's going to artillery so he fuck cares everything now. really a bastard. Everyone thinks hes so great cuz he was some big fuck in NCC...So fucking what? i dont give a shit who u were last time...Now we are in the same boat so u dont fucking bring ur weight from last time and try to slam it down on us.

They found a blank in his ammo pouch after declaration..i hope he gets charged otherwise it wouldent be fair to Justin...

OCS Patrol Field Camp

One of the gruesome 2days 1 night field camps....its mentally draining. We didnt get much sleep due to planning and all. I was made section commander for one patrol mission and i didnt finish the ops order in time. And cuz of that...LTA Foong stripped me of my rank. I was really upset because I was gonna finish and everything i did went down the drain. My mood turned after that. I tried my best then...but i guess it wasnt good enough. Sigh...

After that....during the patrol...i ND-ed. That made things worse. I was gone that night. I fucked care everything because of that. I even cried cuz they didnt believe i checked clear.

I guess i am being picked on by the instructors. Demoralized...Its like they are looking for every chance to fuck me good. I dont know why, but it seems everything i do, i always end up getting fucked even though its right.