The day grandma left. 20th Dec 07 - 93years old

I was in e living room happily playing my new PS3 when Mom suddenly called for me to go into grandma's rm quick...went in, i saw her mouth opened as though gasping for air but she was still...eyes closed. Immediately, i felt for a pulse...there was one...i checked the breathing, there wasnt any...soon after i felt for another pulse...this time it faded and soon after, it went off...my mom and maid were beside me and i turned to them and shook my head.

Immediately, (Lana) my maid started bursting into tears...it took me a while to register..."i have actually lost someone who has been with me almost my entire life" i told my mom to inform everyone to come back quick...cuz they left in the late afternoon after praying over her.

I felt for grandma's hands...they were really cold...and just sat there and cried. Its been a long time since i cried.. Not everyday u see someone at their deathbed and this time i actually seen someone go away... It was peaceful i guess..

My Dad came home first..with uncle Martin and aunty Clara. He immediately kneeled down and started talking to her in cantonese...den he burst out into tears...then came aunty Betty and then the rest of the aunties...

I seen alot of these kinda things in shows...never expect it to happen to me though.

Today is the 2nd day of the wake...or turning 3rd. My dad told me that i was her favourite grandchild and i didnt know how to handle that...it started coming again... A Christian service was held followed by a Catholic one...

During e Christian service which was in Chinese, the pastor said that dying is like moving house. Except that this time, u skip the hassle of looking for a nice place, worrying about future neighbours and having to pack and unpack and getting everything messy. Moving to this place called Heaven which is so beautiful and everyone is so nice...

I guess my grandma's soul would be very very happy too, and we have to be happy for her.

Unit life

Finally half of my army is gone...now its the other half...spent in unit...

Well i've been in training for 1 year already...BMT, OCS, BMC and yea...now i am finally posted to seletar camp as a medic. Well what i can say is this...Unit life is certainly very different from trainee...there is no fixed time to wake up, only schedules to follow, deadlines to finish tasks and stuff like that.

As for me, i am in HQ...doing medical cover and some other shit clerical work which i dont think i shd be doing...but oh wells...anyways I would say its much more slack...But I kinda miss the life of a trainee...The ties we make and the bonds that can never be broken. Though we follow the daily regiments, thats what makes us better friends, cuz we suffer together, have a common understanding and all...

Over at the unit, u are on your own...though it may be more slack.. but there isnt anyone to remind u of what u hafta do anymore cuz u are on your own.. ARGH I WANNA ORD! >.<

The Fragility of Life

Just last week, we were on the way to Zouk in a cab when i heard about the tragic news of BoonYong's dad. Ruiwen was telling me about it and how he was put into this guilt trip when everyone partied while he didnt turn up when it happened.

The gang and I went down to NUH just now to visit him. Luckily, his dad would not suffer any permanent disabilities considering the fact a pipe by the weight of TONS came tumbling down on him. He was in a bubbly state when we got there.. Feeling nervous as i entered the room first, i peeked meekly into the room and I could sense that he was happy to have visitors though we werent close to him at all... Well at least me. I mean thats what brathers are for... and i spell it brAthers cuz thats the name we gave ourselves.

There was a bangala next to his bed... Now this guy is another poor thing. I felt so sorry for him cuz no.1, no one visited him ever since he was admitted. no.2 ( He fell from a lorry or smth ) The Bastard driver didnt even bother to see how is he.

BoonYong's dad, although went through 2 major operations was joking around with him... He told us that e bangala had no appetite to eat...and at night, he was clutching his stomach cuz of gastric... So he asked how much he earned per mth...Bangala replied 400bucks...n he told e bangala, 1 night here costs u 220...u 2 days already exceed ur pay. The bangala immediately gobbled down his food. But he was so poor thing, that we saw him crying himself to sleep... Deprived from knowing if anyone ever cared for him... that really has to suck big time. No one deserves that kinda treatment man..

Well i guess this is a lesson learnt... No matter how minor a case, we shdnt take it lightly no matter what. This has taught me how frail a person's life can be...I guess at the medical center, probably we gotta stop scrutinizing e patient from head to toe to see if he is malingering or not but let the doctor decide...

The Medics of Platoon 3

OCS Training

The End of a Chapter...N the start of another.

At last...i am a medic to be...did i tell u i got posted to e medic course btw?....Anyways...today was our graduation...Finally the end of a chapter...and the start of another. The end of trainee life, end of instructors feeding you with a spoon. Its real now, whatever we do.. Be it going for cover for a simple exercise to a rescue mission, its real time now.

It sort of dawned on me that this was gonna happen...Responsibilities..What makes it worse is that its gonna be lives I'll be dealing with. Hopefully i wont get to confront such cases, however if i do... I wanna make sure i'll be prepared for it.

I was kinda sad to leave the friends i made the past 9 weeks...though we werent really the best of friends, it was still fun to have them around. I guess we didnt go through enough hardship like the ones me and my other friends from OCS did..

Some sort of remorse had came into me too because i felt that the pride wasnt there anymore..Hopefully I can get an 8 - 5 vocation =X The rest of them will be commissioned in 2 wks time...8th sept...1 year exactly after i enlist...After this...1 more year until i fuck off and get to uni!

Ever wondered why?

I always walk down town n the thing i see which disses me off the most is a CHICK with an ugly guy! And i think to myself...why does she fall in love with him and how does it do it?

Few reasons i can deduce to are these...

1) The guy is rich...loads of ugly skunks get chicks as their gf's cuz they are rich...Comeon...dont tell me girls arent materialistic.. i dont think so... I see them splurging credit cards of them richies... Which pisses me most. A few girls told me, i am not the materialistic sort...well balls to u. Its just a delusion u got in ur head... Dont lie.

2) The guy is just a dumbshit...That falls into a category of stupid idiots spending their hard earned money on girls out there...Well i cant say much but i guess its true...Guys are visual creatures...Looks always come first.. Thats why i hear so many such "first love" cases... Urgh...

3) The guy is a sweet-talker... okay these are the people i really respect most. U're nt too good looking but u make the most of ur other traits like the gift of the gap. Which works on alot of girls...however these poor bunch...well i dont see them relationship last without money... It always boils down to my first point where girls are materialistic.

Okay okay...enough said about this topic... Lets move on... theres another type of group...nt so good looking couples together...now ever wondered why?... Lets see.. Now these are hard to define...but heres my 2 cents worth.

1) They were prolly childhood lovers... No doubt these relationships lasted since they were kids...Its something really rare...I myself, forgotten the chick whom i always stole glances when i had the chance when i was young...I thought i could really take things on to the next stage...blah.

2) They prolly go for the heart...BUT they were once friends... It cant be a first love sorta thing... I really do not agree for the fact that a guy can fall in love with a girl that has a distorted face or smth...neither could a girl vice versa. Character of each other's personalities drew them together and yea! poof! u got a couple.

I really feel that there is rarely true love now...considering our generation where kids are so spoilt... Love comes with a price... A chick comes with a price.... How much are u willing to spend on a date with the girl u like determines how much she will want to come out with u for the 2nd date? Entertainment comes with a price...i doubt a walk in the park or going downstairs her block hawker stall to eat wanton mee is gonna make a very good first impression...

E life of an OOC Cadet

pretty fun i guess...haha everyday is a nights out day...and plus! we go out everyday...just that some of us are gonna leave Charlie Wing soon...sigh...when the wing's on lull...life's so wonderful... Just wanna nua thru the whole NS life now since whatever i am doing is without a purpose... But well...i chose that path...re-course is just going to be a waste of my time...i have no interest to start from scratch.

This thing which has been running in my head lately...am i like childish or smth man...i dont know...driving me nuts...

OOC

So this is the end of my journey in OCS i guess... I went for the performance review board...had an interview with Colonel Ong...well much as i thought...or expected...it wasnt an interview... It was more like an interrogation. Its ever since i misfired..the amount of shit i have been dealing with from the instructors was hell. This is a vicious place whereby they dont give a chance for the mistakes u made. Its like one misfire and u are condemned. Well i thought to myself fine...if thats the way, then i should just take it. Actually, i feel happy to leave this place...but sad that i let my parents down... i wanted them to see me getting commissioned on the parade square.. Guess it wont happen.

Plus...all my friends whom had faith in me..i've let them down. Its a shame lah...but hopefully i gain something from this and i hope i made the right decision. Besides...the school instructor is really a turn off...cant stand his fucking attitude. My PC, CPT Jason hasnt been a great help too. Hes damm sacarstic when we ask him for help...plus my instructors...Sigh...anyways...a new beginning. i still have 1 and a half years more to clear. So i hope i can just breeze by these. Now my only worry is about my application to the university...hows it gonna affect my chances.

Feel kinda sian that i am leaving this place...but i dont know...its been...somewhat fun lah. Hopefully i get to go home soon...Now i'm able to do something more useful instead of chiong-suaing up a stupid hill or something.