Feelings

Mmm i dont know what to do... and i dont think i can do anything. Prolly my chances are ruined... Shouldent have told her that I like her... Ever felt what was it like that when the girl you like, is interested in someone else...

It rarely happens to me, but well... I keep reproaching myself for it...Even when she dosent mind...That isnt the point... Is it cuz i smk n drink or something?... Or I am just not her type...these kinda things keep swirling in my brain... I think of her before i go to bed or in school... n always msg her in MSN first... never the other way... n its so hard to get her on a date... I dunnoe... 2nd thoughts.. yea i did think of it... Oh well shes pretty and all...and will definately have alot of suitors...but I like that idea of people complimenting that my girl is pretty. Being suspicious is something not very nice...But oh well i dont know...I gave Juli, Cherlyne and Anna the freedom they wanted..be it go out with guys ALONE...and they all ended up 2 timing...Still i feel that, what i am doing is correct...Cuz i put every ounce of what I have in me to make it happen...Still its futile.

But whats the point here is that...i feel that i can relate to her my problems as well as whatever that makes me happy...Practically everything... Still i dont know her well enough to understand whats going on here... Well...if she and that guy hit it off...den of cuz i would be upset la...Thats the cold hard truth... Giving her my blessings and all those i dont really believe...cuz deep down inside i still like her...

Anyway her exams are round the corner... I guess is i would leave her alone...so she has more time to concentrate on her studies and stuff...

Oh well... I just want an answer, cuz i dont wanna be kept hanging there and move on.

Actually I came to realised that I dont purposely go around finding a girlfriend...it takes much consideration before i would say i like the girl....i mean the sort of attraction between a very ATTRACTIVE girl and the girl who u like and is not really attractive is different... To me, this case is like shes attractive and shes someone i like...

Being friends with a person whom u like is tough...cuz, theres an attraction already for the guy...
Its even harder to talk to the person when he/she is interested in someone else..Cuz whatever things u gotta say to her....you cant say it out..... Things like interested in you or i like u are taboo already. For me...i think i opened a pandora's box (My mouth) and i cant seal it back...

Geez.